For a while, I've been feeling not satisfied with my current day job. I'm experiencing a bottleneck with both my life and my career right now. I've been secretly plotting a rebellion against my employer by writing a novel at night. But now I'm stuck with a writer's block and I find myself unable to proceed with my story. My heroine's therapist was dead and now, like my heroine, I'm lost without an emotional anchor. I'm having a hard time finding my focus as of now. I've been hoping that if I get my novel published, then I can say good-bye to my employer; I will be free. But now I'm feeling somewhat discouraged because such task appears to be greater than what I initially saw. As you can tell, I'm thinking negative here. How did it happen? Oh well... If only I could control my train of thought...
I hear that writing a diary helps, so this is why I am ranting here. Who still writes on a paper diary these days? But obviously there are lots who do because the bookstores and stationery shops are selling lots of beautifully designed paper diaries. I have extremely terrible handwriting, so I guess I will write a blog instead.
This is not my first time blogging. As shown on the above photo, I recently started a blog in my native Chinese language. I started this Chinese blog hoping to connect with my fellow Chinese. But I am beginning to feel bored and uninspired by it; I just feel so much lonelier talking to the air in Chinese. So I wonder if switching to English will help distract me from my negative frame of mind.... I think it's working. I don't know why, it's just so much faster to write in English... I also feel less lonely because for reasons unknown to me, speaking English to the air feels less absurd.
Yes, I am starting to blog here because I'm not quite satisfied with my Chinese blog. For some reason, blogging Chinese makes me feel that the blogoshere is colder and lonelier than the real world. I never blogged until I created my Chinese blog. It's a whole new experience for me. I'm learning the technology along the way. As much as I'm not quite satisfied with the lack of interactivity that I was expecting from my Chinese blog, I do appreciate the fact that I'm smart enough to put up the blog all by myself without any help. It makes me feel a little smart... I know I am smart but due to the world of highly competitive and smart people whom I work with on a daily basis, I can sometimes feel I am stupid. This is why I want to break free from that world. I'll be happy if only I can publish my novel one day. Meanwhile, I would like to build my translation service because I feel that it's a quicker way to break free from my current employer. So if you have any need to translate any type of books, letters, legal document, business memorandum or anything in Chinese or vice versa, please contact me.
If you are a web designer or blog designer, please connect with me because I do need a serious makeover of my Chinese blog to make it look less boring....
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